because writing is hard, and whining is therapeutic.

Writing is hard, and not-writing makes me annoyed at myself, and the longer I procrastinate, the easier it is for my brain to tell me that what I'm doing is pointless and dumb and that I may as well give up because don't I have better things to do than pretend to be a novelist?

It's not that I'm just automatically self-deprecating (although I can be) or that I actually have no faith in my abilities (because if I'm being honest, part of the problem is that I think I am a good-or-at-least-decent writer, but none of what is coming out seems to be proof of that). It's just that I've never done this before. Not really. I've never made it this far in a first draft, and I've never published anything, and I'm still--still!--convinced, deep down, that no respectable adult-type person actually intentionally spends time writing fantasy novels geared toward slightly-older-than-"YA"-humans. I mean, really, who even does that.

...

Anyway.

I have the phrase "Write now, worry later" written on a piece of paper at eye level if I look up from my computer (although you'd be surprised at how little one actually looks up-and-straight-ahead from at a computer). It's my reminder to myself that first drafts are supposed to be messy and no writer ever actually feels good about what they're doing until well after, if they do at all; just read all those writer quotes you've been collecting. It's to tell me to get out of my head, and that the more I think, the less I do, and the less I do, the more I worry, and then the cycle just continues. [1] So I may as well just shut up already and sit down and write that awkward paragraph or two to get myself to another, more interesting part of... of whatever it is that I'm writing. [2] I always say, afterwords, that I was happy I made myself push through it, even if it was terrible, because I can always go back and revise it later. I mean, like, way later, when I'm actually done with the first draft.

"Done" with the first draft, she says, as though she believes that possibility exists.


So, yeah, this post is a totally shameless appeal for encouragement, and for someone to maybe tell me that Writing YA Novels (Even Fantasy-Fairy-Tale Ones) is a perfectly acceptable thing to want to do with my life.

... also that if I stop whining and end this procrastiblog post, I might actually get something accomplished tonight before Being Old and Having A Grownup Job Or Whatever decide to take over.

Thanks for listening. I'm going, I'm going.

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[1] Never has the concept of "obsessive thought patterns" been more relevant to me than when I am trying to write. Argh.
[2] ...of my book. The book that I am writing. It's going to be a book; that's its intended purpose. Why is that so hard for me to say out loud?! (or type, or whatever)

choose your own adventure: follow Trump or follow Christ

This isn’t about picking political sides.

It’s about choosing whether to be a light that shines out the gospel to the world or embrace a growing darkness that will eventually, but inevitably consume us all from within.

Please read this article.

And if you do, make sure you read all of it.

And if you think it's a little extreme and overdramatic... well, so do I--but that doesn't mean I disagree with what it is saying. Because the longer I ponder it, and the longer I worry about posting anything about the bizarre alternate dimension we have entered, [1] the more convinced I am that it's worth sharing, and that it is definitely worth thinking about.

If it makes you uncomfortable: that's probably good. It makes ME uncomfortable, and I've been anti-Trump since the beginning.

I know, I know: he's anti-abortion. And while I, too, am (ardently) anti-abortion, that specific fact does not cancel out the rest of the insane and terrifying things that our president--our PRESIDENT--has been doing. If you call yourself "pro-life," then that title should extend to lives, period--not just the lives of the unborn. There is a difference between standing up for something you believe in and using parts of those beliefs to justify actions that contradict what your faith proclaims.

Don't forget the two great commandments we are given as Christians:

And one of them, a lawyer, asked [Jesus] a question to test him. 'Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?' And he said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.' [2] 

I appreciate that Mr Hunt does not declare any people "not Christian," and I am certainly not doing that either. What I am trying to do--what I think I have always been trying to do [3]--is point out that being a Christ-follower should always come before being a member of a political party, and that supporting worldly leaders or their laws should always come after following Christ.

For at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. [4]

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[1] Especially given recent conversations I've had with people about how posting things on social media often does more damage than good... am I just perpetuating that constant loop? When it comes down to it: yes, I am, but at the same time it is becoming increasingly more difficult for me to not say anything simply on principle.
[2] Matthew 22:35-40
[3] Ultimately, my greatest dream for conversations like this is for people to think a little more critically about why they believe what they believe, and to know whether things they post/share/comment are really and truly coming from the core of their faith. I find that so many Christians share things that sound more or less like what they believe, even if it has some issues that contradict the fundamental nature of their belief, and that enrages me almost more than anything else I read (even when those other things are actively opposed to my beliefs--but at least they are consistent). Which is why, in a roundabout way, I struggled so hard with sharing this article in the first place, because I didn't want to add to the shaking-of-fists without thinking very deeply about whether I believed in it. So let it be on the record (even in a footnote) that I am not saying that this article is absolute truth, or that I will stake my beliefs on Zack Hunt's blog. What I am saying, however, is that this is well worth considering--especially if you are a Trump supporter.
[4] Ephesians 5:8-10