born ready

Or: The Passing Thought that Turned into the Summation of (Almost) Everything I Believe

Life has this frustrating way of just ... progressing, regardless of how we feel about it. As a student (well, a post-student, anyway), I've gotten used to gearing up for the next section of my life. I'm a fan of the traditional school year because I can separate my life into pieces: fall semester, spring semester, summer. Repeat. Add some breaks in between to keep it from getting too much, and I'm set. I know what's coming, and I know, for the most part, how to prepare for it.

But then there's everything else that life throws at you, and there's really no way to be prepared. I wasn't ready for my parents to get a divorce, but it happened, and I had to deal with it. My aunt and uncle knew that their baby girl had a terminal illness, but they weren't prepared for her Father to take her home. I have friends who are single and lonely and feel long past ready to start a relationship; I have friends who got married and realized they might not have been ready. There's no way for us to know what's coming—nothing in this world is permanent, and even when we feel like we're ready for something, we never know exactly how it's going to go down. And it's easy to despair about that, because... well, because the unknown is just plain scary.

On a very basic level, you can perceive the challenges we face as opportunities God gives us in order to learn to trust that he knows what he's doing even when we haven't a clue. I thought this way for a long time, because it seemed to make sense: how can I work on strengthening my faith if everything in my life is going perfectly? Maybe God permits—even presents—these challenges, so that I will be constantly relying on him. I know that he loves me, and (as both Paul and the Beatles say) love is all you need [1], so maybe the point of... everything... is to learn to have faith, to be content in all things. [2]

But I'm not satisfied with this perception. Because on that basic level, it means that God is testing me. It means that he's throwing all this weird ~life stuff~ at me, just so I can prove that I trust him enough to get through it without... rejecting him? being unloving to the people around me? giving up? And we all know that somewhere along the line, I'm going to do one of those things (although I don't even know which of these I am trying to prove). No matter how hard I hold on to my faith, even the faintest of doubts is still a failure to find complete confidence in God's grace. And why would God intentionally test my ability to succeed when he knows I will continue to fail?

Except God doesn't test people like this anymore. He may have tested Abraham, back when the "in" thing was being as righteous as possible, but now that we have been given the gift of grace things work a little differently.

Here's the beauty of it: we are ready. What does it matter if we feel like it or not? When do we ever experience one pure, unadulterated emotion? Love + worry. Anger + hurt. Confidence + arrogance. Our human emotions get so jumbled and complicated, and we spend so much time trying to sort through them, that we start to believe they're all we have. I feel angry, so I'm going to tell him how stupid he is and why I'm clearly the better person. I feel worthless, so I must have absolutely no good qualities. We're emotional creatures: we feel a great deal in one given minute, but in half an hour it's an entirely different story. So why should our mood swings be perceived any differently than the way we feel about certain periods of life? The hurt and anger you feel after a breakup is not really so different from the hurt and anger you feel after an argument with your mom. It's maybe a little longer and a little more intense (and with less of the tension if-you-know-what-i-mean), but hurt is hurt and anger is anger. And regardless of the cause, it doesn't last forever, and it doesn't mean you'll never feel happy again. It means that for this moment, you're feeling X and Y feelings, and eventually they'll be replaced by new ones.

The thing is, our feelings can only tell us so much. It's dangerously easy to get completely lost in your emotions and lose sight of what's important; it's equally dangerous to disregard your emotions altogether. The mere fact that a person can do either of these things proves that an emotional response to something is not indicative of the thing itself. An emotional response is pretty much the sole responsibility of the person experiencing it, and not of whatever it was that caused it. And when we focus on making sure we "feel" ready, we're completely missing the point.

When it comes down to it, life is going to happen the way it happens (or doesn't), and there isn't much you can do about it. Sure, you have choices to make, but they can only get you so far. You can decide which car to buy or where to go to school, but you have no control over whether someone crashes into said car, or if you are presented with an excellent job opportunity that you weren't looking for. You can even decide you should get that job you applied for, because it's *perfect* for you, and but just because you think so doesn't mean the potential employer does. We can't possibly know all the factors involved in any given situation; all we have is what we know, and that knowledge is far more limited than we'd like to think.

But God's design is too good to catch him unawares. Only God, who knows every puzzle piece of his entire creation, knows all the factors involved in these situations. He knows the how and the why, and he knows where it will lead us. Our comprehension of the situation is irrelevant, because we're only one piece of a gigantic, intricate masterpiece.

Ecclesiastes 3 (which, for the record, is probably my favorite chapter of the Bible) explains... well... everything. People are most familiar with the "time for everything" bit: a time to be born, and to die, and to cast stones, and to pick up stones, κτλ. [3] "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." [4] There is comfort in this long list of things-that-happen-sometime-in-your-life, because it tells us that we aren't alone in our suffering, and that life is more than just the "season" [5] we happen to be experiencing. But the beauty of this passage—arguably, the beauty of life itself—is found in the paragraph just after the list. First, the author addresses the sense of futility that comes with knowing you can't stop life from happening: "What gain has the worker from his toil?" [6] What is the point of all of this work if there's nothing we can do to stop the future from happening?

And then he explains it: "[God] has made everything beautiful in its time." [7] God has given all things a purpose, and made all seasons and experiences beautiful at the perfect moments. The times to kill, the times to dance, the times to keep silence, the times for peace... they're all ordered by God, a part of his design and a part of the plans he has for us, "plans for welfare and not for evil, to give [us] a future and a hope." [8] Every season we experience, every moment of joy and sorrow and waiting and acting, are given to us exactly when we need them, and fit perfectly into God's design for our lives and for the lives of those around us. We can't comprehend that design, not fully—we only see parts of it, and even if we understand why our lives happen the way they do, we can't possibly see how it fits into the greater design of the entire body of Christ. God purposefully made us so that we "cannot find out what [he] has done from the beginning to the end" [9] ...but he also ensured that we don't have to. It's not our responsibility to know. God's design accounts for everyone, and he limited our understanding so that we have less to worry about. "I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man." [10]

So are we supposed to feel ready for what's to come? Of course not. There's no way to know what's going to happen, and no way to know how to deal with it, and even if we did, no way that we'd deal with it in the best possible way. But God's design is greater than our feelings of inadequacy as well as our inadequacy itself. Everything happens exactly when it's meant to happen, and everything is made beautiful in its own time. God gives us everything we need, exactly when we need it. [11]

Regardless of how we feel about it, we are always ready. We were born ready, born to face whatever the world throws at us, born to be strong enough to wait for the things to come. "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" [12]

Relax. We can't see the whole picture, but we don't need to. All things happen in the perfect moment (εἰς τὸν καιρὸν), and all we can do is act in the present. This time will pass, and a new season will be upon us—so be joyful, and do good as long as you live. This is God's gift to you.

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[1.1] 2 Corinthians 12:9a: But [the Lord] said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
[1.2] "All You Need Is Love" / the Beatles
[2] Philippians 4:10a-13: ...for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
[3] κτλ = the Greek version of "etc" (short for και τα λοιπά, [kai ta loipa] which means "and the rest")
[4] Ecclesiastes 3:1 ... see also verses 2-8: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
[5] the word used here is καιρός (kairos), which does mean "season" or "time," but more appropriately means "time as opportunity," "the suitable/favorable occasion," "the perfect moment," κτλ.
[6] Ecclesiastes 3:9
[7] Ecclesiastes 3:11a
[8] Jeremiah 29:11b
[9] Ecclesiastes 3:11b
[10] Ecclesiastes 3:12-13
[11] Philippians 4:19: And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
[12] Matthew 6:25-27