(listen)
The first star I see may not be a star
We can't do a thing but wait
So let's wait for one more
And the time, such clumsy time
In deciding if it's time
I'm careful but not sure how it goes
You can lose yourself in your courage
When the time we have now ends
When the big hand goes round again
Can you still feel the butterflies?
Can you still hear the last goodnight?
And the mindless comfort grows
When I'm alone with my 'great' plans
And this is what she says gets her through it
"If I don't let myself be happy now, then when?
If not now, when?"
The time we have now ends
And when the big hand goes round again
Can you still feel the butterflies?
Can you still hear the last goodnight?
I close my eyes and believe
Wherever you are, an angel for me
When the time we have now ends
And when the big hand goes round again
Can you still feel the butterflies?
Can you still hear the last goodnight?
Unfortunately youtube only has the original Jimmy Eat World version—the one I listen to is an a cappella version that I only discovered thanks to my brother's friend from college, who had it on a mix that eventually made its way to my cd player. I don't actually know anything else by Jimmy Eat World (and I don't even know if the version I have was performed by them), but this is the song that can make me cry almost every time I listen to it.
It has only lately occurred to me how emotional I am. There's a term in Greek (which for the life of me I cannot remember) that my professor used to call "the fire in your belly," the kind of gut-wrenching emotion that has a nearly tangible physical presence. He always struggles to explain it in the English but it makes perfect sense to me, because I am quite familiar with the sensation.
This is one of the reasons I love music so much. This "fire in my belly" is only a result of something external, and music is an especially powerful trigger. I can find meaning in lyrics that the artist himself probably did not intend, but such a meaning that lights that fire and gives voice to the depth of my own emotion.
And this song. I listen to it periodically, at different (usually emotional) points in my life, and every time a different phrase stands out to me. I believe it was intended to be a breakup song but as far as I am concerned this is largely irrelevant, because it fits pretty exactly into the way I understand the perfectly-designed mess of my life. It's about the way that time passes, and the way we continually face the completely unexpected. It's about making plans and trashing them, about the end of things as much as hope of what's to come. It's about struggling to get through the day—and about finding the reasons to do so.
It's about life, in all its complex, painful, wonderful, chaotic beauty.
And sometimes I need that fire in my belly to see life for what it is.
The first star I see may not be a star
We can't do a thing but wait
So let's wait for one more
And the time, such clumsy time
In deciding if it's time
I'm careful but not sure how it goes
You can lose yourself in your courage
When the time we have now ends
When the big hand goes round again
Can you still feel the butterflies?
Can you still hear the last goodnight?
And the mindless comfort grows
When I'm alone with my 'great' plans
And this is what she says gets her through it
"If I don't let myself be happy now, then when?
If not now, when?"
The time we have now ends
And when the big hand goes round again
Can you still feel the butterflies?
Can you still hear the last goodnight?
I close my eyes and believe
Wherever you are, an angel for me
When the time we have now ends
And when the big hand goes round again
Can you still feel the butterflies?
Can you still hear the last goodnight?
Unfortunately youtube only has the original Jimmy Eat World version—the one I listen to is an a cappella version that I only discovered thanks to my brother's friend from college, who had it on a mix that eventually made its way to my cd player. I don't actually know anything else by Jimmy Eat World (and I don't even know if the version I have was performed by them), but this is the song that can make me cry almost every time I listen to it.
It has only lately occurred to me how emotional I am. There's a term in Greek (which for the life of me I cannot remember) that my professor used to call "the fire in your belly," the kind of gut-wrenching emotion that has a nearly tangible physical presence. He always struggles to explain it in the English but it makes perfect sense to me, because I am quite familiar with the sensation.
This is one of the reasons I love music so much. This "fire in my belly" is only a result of something external, and music is an especially powerful trigger. I can find meaning in lyrics that the artist himself probably did not intend, but such a meaning that lights that fire and gives voice to the depth of my own emotion.
And this song. I listen to it periodically, at different (usually emotional) points in my life, and every time a different phrase stands out to me. I believe it was intended to be a breakup song but as far as I am concerned this is largely irrelevant, because it fits pretty exactly into the way I understand the perfectly-designed mess of my life. It's about the way that time passes, and the way we continually face the completely unexpected. It's about making plans and trashing them, about the end of things as much as hope of what's to come. It's about struggling to get through the day—and about finding the reasons to do so.
It's about life, in all its complex, painful, wonderful, chaotic beauty.
And sometimes I need that fire in my belly to see life for what it is.
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